Worst Rollerblading Sections of All Time
by Joey McGarry

There are sections by Dustin Latimer, Brian Shima, Jon Elliot, Pat Lennon, Julio, TJ Webber (etc etc) that will be discussed for decades to come… and there are sections that have been forgotten… Usually with good reason.

Hopefully we can all learn from the mistakes of the past… As I myself have used a Christian rap metal song in ‘Allusion’.

John Glynn – FOR

It’s not that the skating is really bad… It’s that fucking Lenny Kravitz song. Did they really ask themselves if it was a good idea to use that song? Put ‘Fly Away’ to any legendary section and it instantly makes it funny. Put it to this John Glynn section where his arm waving literally looks like he wants to fly away… You have comedy gold! Or a fast forwarder… Your choice.

(section @ 22:50)

Bob Lewis – VG 8

Corey Casey said it best in an old Daily Bread review of VG 8… Something like: “Hasn’t VG always highlighted people that have changed the face of rollerblading?” Jon Julio, Erik Burke, Randy Spizer and… Bob Lewis? It was already bad with all the basic boot grabbin’ gappin’ balding steez and then hot tub speech about sponsorship just puts it over the top… I would’ve been ok just seeing the back backslide shot with Nik Poderik looking somber in a montage or something.

Brian Hamm – Wasteland

Wasteland saw BS Films (Brian Smith) trying to do more with the skate video format by adding stories and concepts to sections. Although the video has some classic sections in it (Jon Elliot and Louie Zamora most notably) there are an incredible amount of bad moments in the video. The most memorable for me the Korn song with Brian Hamm jumping towards the camera with the big riff and the ‘ Arrrreeee you reaaaaddy’. Great skating ruined by a bad concept and bad song. Be careful with song choices you think are going to be badass…

Side note: I owned this cd in high school. Never had the balls to put it to skating.

(audio out of sync unfortunately)

Cristian Rodriguez – Fast Shoes

You thought waiter arm began with Forever Now and Colin Kelso? The ORIGINAL right here. At the 1:54 mark he actually forgets to throw up the waiter arm and then throws it up.

(starts @ 1:27)

The Stuck Mojo section – Damaged Goods

Damaged Goods could easily be named the worst rollerblading video of all time. If looked at as a comedy film it actually works really well. Arlo and Mike Scott’s skating holds up quite well. But as soon as you see the forward 720 to the ‘BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT!’ It’s very difficult to not start laughing. Also, the legend of Klaus Dieter Waltner becomes real… and who can forget the front flip at the end. THIS IS AGGRESSIVE ROLLERBLADING.

(Starts @ 2:45)

Lines section – Suitable Material

Some of the fastest, smoothest and most controlled rollerblading ever captured on tape (with incredible filming.) In retrospect you think “boy did it look bad”. To TJ and Arlo’s credit they actually do some good shit. It’s not ALL bad.

COMMENT
RECENT PODCASTS
236

Joey McGarry

235

Joey McGarry

234

Danny Beer
Todd McInerney

233

Todd McInerney

232

Joey McGarry

231

Joey McGarry

230

Chris Pullar
Joey McGarry

229

Collin Martin
Todd McInerney

228

Rachel Lin
Joey McGarry

227

Frank Stoner
Joey McGarry